Sadness

I am always greatly affected when I hear of someone that I once knew, respected and loved, dying. I lie in bed and think of their families and how they found them or the last time they spoke to them or how there is just this empty body taking up space in this world that once held something so sacred. And I cry. It is only for a night or two and then life carries on and I cannot believe it has happened and I go on to enjoy the moments of my life. Then I forget till another comes along. It is a strange feeling. I lie there feeling really light and almost like I could float away but then the tears hold me down. I no longer feel blood flowing through my veins but tears.

It is not like when I lose somebody I dearly love and was close to. Two years ago, when my grandma died, I felt like I could not breathe. I would cry myself to sleep at night for more than a week and even fall apart doing simple things like getting dressed. Abraham would have to just hold me till I stopped.

I am just praying for the Anders family right now. That they will be able to breathe.